Gorgeous imagery and sounds!! The second stanza is particularly striking. I love the rough way it contrasts with the vibrance and delicacy of the first.

I feel like there is a bit of a disconnect between the first two and last two stanzas-- in the first part you seem to be describing a dancer whereas in the second we suddenly switch to describing the Earth, who is also no longer dancing. Is Earth the dancer? I think that conclusion is really cool, but if that's the case you should back it up a little more, try to tie the two halves of the poem together in some way. Maybe a reference to the initial "dancer" in a way that hints that she is the Earth, and/or allude to the dancing more in the second half.

Awesome piece! Keep up the great writing!

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“He practically omitted the Sith," Tris said dryly.
“And the falling elevator,” Orion added knowingly. “Falling elevators are never a good thing to have in your known history. Makes people think you’re risky.”
-A Jedi's Journey, Chapter 9 @ *eliatra

Thank you! I've been trying for months
to describe the things I saw while I
lived at my brothers' frat house, and
one day, it finally came out.

I agree about the discordance between
the dancer and the Earth (which are, indeed,
one and the same) but I haven't figured
out how to connect them, yet.

It'll come.
Check it out when it happens, let me know what you think.

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100 Themes Challenge!

I agree with elitra the imagery is so powerful. the whole thing in my opinion is simply amazing, i wish i could write with such detail
:]

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_{Yeah, I'm lame, I self advertise. Hah.}

Your words mean a lot to me. I'm pleased to have reached you.

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100 Themes Challenge!